Monday, December 28, 2015

Something good that came from something bad.

“I’ve had it, Pops,” Jason said.

Steve stopped walking. Jason didn’t.

“Jason?”

Another three steps, then father watched his son’s head fall, shoulders hunching forward. Jason didn’t turn, just stood there, a tree bent in the wind. Steve walked up alongside, afraid he wasn’t going to be able to help his son.

“I’m a failure, Dad.”

Jason’s flat whisper cut deep. Steve breathed, holding back tears, knew feeling sorry for his son wouldn’t help anything, changed his perspective.

“You know, I’m pretty successful,” Steve said, walking again, hoping to engage his son in something other than his own self-pity.

“You’re f*cking successful!”

Jason quickly caught up, even as his father walked faster.

“Yep, I’m f-ing successful!”

They smiled at one another, accepting a truce on the taboo of Jason’s use of explitive deletives.

“It’s partly your fault,” Steve said.
“What?”
“My success.”

Jason stopped, jerked his body upright.

“B*llsh*t!”
“Easy,” his dad reminded, keeping Jason focused on what was being discussed, not the playful use of foul language.

“I wouldn’t be the man I am,” Steve said, facing Jason, looking him right in the eyes, “if it weren’t for you.”

For a brief moment, sadness poured between them, a flood of memories, painful reminders of Jason’s brain damage and lack of self-control.

“F*ck you!”

Jason was off, walking fast.

“It’s true,” Steve called, “and you know it.”

Jason slowed.

“You taught me patience, tolerance, acceptance,” Steve said, slowly closing the gap between them. “I would never have been as successful as I am, without you.”

Jason turned. Even in the darkness his eyes glinted with the growing moisture.

“It’s partly your fault,” Steve laughed, trying to distract his own tears. “If you think I’m successful, then you’re successful, too.”

Father and son searched each other’s face for the truth that was there.

“Come on,” Steve said, putting an arm around his son, pulling him close alongside as he turned them around, back towards the Christmas dinner and family that they had so abruptly left. “Let’s get some dinner.”

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